Hello again, my social networking friend!

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There are rules for Facebook that everyone should follow yet very, very few people actually do. I’ve broken almost every rule on this list because, let’s face it, it’s easier to give advice than it is to take your own advice. Some of these rules are nothing more than common courtesy. Others will save you from embarrassing yourself. Others will keep you from winding up in a situation like dear ole Rudolph in the cartoon here. Witty little cartoon or cautionary tale. You decide. Let’s get to the list.

1. Never say anything on Facebook you don’t want people to know. You’re not whispering something to a friend. You’re writing it down on the internet. Word travels fast.
2. Remember who your friends are. Sure this one isn’t a Facebook exclusive rule but it has a bit of a different meaning on FB. If you say something nasty about someone you don’t particularly like and one of your friends happens to also be friends with the object of your scorn, you could find yourself in hot water fairly quickly.
3. Don’t say things you wouldn’t want Grandma to hear you say. Again with the “it’s the internet” thing. Going off on a profanity laden diatribe against whatever happens to have gotten your goat may make you feel better at the time, but might come back to haunt you. This one is a lesson learned from experience, friends.
4. If your boss is your friend on Facebook or is friends with a friend on Facebook you have the best job ever and your boss is the coolest. It’s that simple. Don’t feel like sucking up? That’s cool. I respect that. Do yourself a favor though – keep your grievances to yourself. If you trash your job on Facebook, you might as well trash your job directly to your boss’ face. I can’t imagine that would go well unless you happen to have an awesome boss in which case what are you complaining about?
5. Think before you like. Please. If someone’s status is talking about someone dying, how upset they are or how bad things are going for them, please don’t use that “like” button – unless of course you’re happy about their sorrow. That’s not what it’s there for. It’s… well, I’m not really sure why it’s there but I know how it’s not supposed to be used. One more note on this one – stop liking your own statuses! While it  may feel like putting an exclamation point at the end of your emotional sentence, it isn’t. It’s annoying. They have this crazy thing called, you guessed it, an exclamation point that will get the job done and won’t make you look like a complete d-bag.

Facebook is supposed to be a fun way to stay in touch and keep people updated on what’s going on in your life. It’s a great way to connect with people and make new friends. When I learned I had a brother, the first thing I did was look him up on Facebook. Even so, Facebook can be a dangerous thing, rife with opportunities to embarrass yourself. Plus, you know, the games are fun. Thanks for reading. If you liked this post, do the right thing and share it on Facebook. See what I did there?

Speaking of games, check out one of my new favorites. It reminds me a little bit of Facebook’s Mafia Wars but more advances. Best part? It’s free and you don’t have to clog up your friends’ news feeds on FB with all sorts of requests. Register here: Become a gangster. Join one of the five families and play the GodFather today at Kabam!

Technology is great, isn’t it? Two stories come to mind when I look at this charming little cartoon. Allow me to share those stories with you.

Not long ago, two friends were planning to meet up in the city for an over night visit. They’d agreed on a time to meet but seeing as neither of them has the ability to arrive at a destination on time ever – not an exaggeration – when the first friend arrived about an hour late, the other friend was not there. It’s entirely possible the second friend was running later than our first guy but that has nothing to do with the story, so let’s move on. Wanting to find out where Second Friend was, First Friend pulled out his trusty cell phone to arrange a new meet time they would both almost certainly arrive late to. First Friend looked at his phone, stricken with horror. Dead Battery. He immediately launched into a panic attack of epic proportions. Crying! Screaming! Hyperventilating… okay, I’m exaggerating, but he did freak out a little bit. He was an hour and a half from home. He was supposed to stay at Second Friend’s house and he now found himself without a means of contact. He could just drive on over to Second Friend’s house, but that’s not exactly the kind of place you want to show up to unannounced. Trust me. I’ll leave the details to your imagination but let’s just say, what’s seen cannot be unseen. If you were watching this instead of reading it, you’d see me shuddering right now.

We’ve all been where First Friend was. Technology fails everyone eventually. From the dreaded ‘no bars’ to the dead battery, cell phones are mighty convenient but only when they’re working the way they’re supposed to work. Had First Friend not been so completely dependent on this little piece of technology, perhaps he would’ve noticed the payphone maybe ten feet away from him a little sooner. He noticed it eventually, made his phone call the old fashioned way and met up with Second Friend who was of course running late and good times were had by all.

Now, it’s pretty unlikely that two cell phone will ever walk into a museum and think their ancestors had tails, unless of course you buy into the theory that one day technology will advance to a stage where we can no longer control it at which point it will take over the world. I guess in that scenario, I guess this isn’t beyond the realm of possibility. Again, not the point I’m trying to make here. What’s far more likely however, is that at a certain point, a whole generation of people will grow up having never seen a phone with a cord attached.  My second story.

I looked at this cartoon and got a good laugh. My husband was sitting beside me doing husband things on his computer and I decided to share the cartoon with him. He couldn’t really see it from where he was sitting and actually getting up to get a better look was out of the question. This is how I explained it:

There are two cell phones in a museum – a father and son. They’re looking at a painting of a cell phone with a cord. The father cell phone says…

My husband stopped me.

Really?

I was offended. He didn’t let me get to the punch line!

The father cell phone says…

He stopped me again.

You don’t even realize that you just said cell phone with a cord. Cell phone. With a cord.

And then we laughed. We laughed a lot. Here’s the thing about that little verbal blunder. I’m not even thirty years old and I already refer to normal phones as cell phones with a cord.

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