Hello again, my social networking friend!

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There are rules for Facebook that everyone should follow yet very, very few people actually do. I’ve broken almost every rule on this list because, let’s face it, it’s easier to give advice than it is to take your own advice. Some of these rules are nothing more than common courtesy. Others will save you from embarrassing yourself. Others will keep you from winding up in a situation like dear ole Rudolph in the cartoon here. Witty little cartoon or cautionary tale. You decide. Let’s get to the list.

1. Never say anything on Facebook you don’t want people to know. You’re not whispering something to a friend. You’re writing it down on the internet. Word travels fast.
2. Remember who your friends are. Sure this one isn’t a Facebook exclusive rule but it has a bit of a different meaning on FB. If you say something nasty about someone you don’t particularly like and one of your friends happens to also be friends with the object of your scorn, you could find yourself in hot water fairly quickly.
3. Don’t say things you wouldn’t want Grandma to hear you say. Again with the “it’s the internet” thing. Going off on a profanity laden diatribe against whatever happens to have gotten your goat may make you feel better at the time, but might come back to haunt you. This one is a lesson learned from experience, friends.
4. If your boss is your friend on Facebook or is friends with a friend on Facebook you have the best job ever and your boss is the coolest. It’s that simple. Don’t feel like sucking up? That’s cool. I respect that. Do yourself a favor though – keep your grievances to yourself. If you trash your job on Facebook, you might as well trash your job directly to your boss’ face. I can’t imagine that would go well unless you happen to have an awesome boss in which case what are you complaining about?
5. Think before you like. Please. If someone’s status is talking about someone dying, how upset they are or how bad things are going for them, please don’t use that “like” button – unless of course you’re happy about their sorrow. That’s not what it’s there for. It’s… well, I’m not really sure why it’s there but I know how it’s not supposed to be used. One more note on this one – stop liking your own statuses! While it  may feel like putting an exclamation point at the end of your emotional sentence, it isn’t. It’s annoying. They have this crazy thing called, you guessed it, an exclamation point that will get the job done and won’t make you look like a complete d-bag.

Facebook is supposed to be a fun way to stay in touch and keep people updated on what’s going on in your life. It’s a great way to connect with people and make new friends. When I learned I had a brother, the first thing I did was look him up on Facebook. Even so, Facebook can be a dangerous thing, rife with opportunities to embarrass yourself. Plus, you know, the games are fun. Thanks for reading. If you liked this post, do the right thing and share it on Facebook. See what I did there?

Speaking of games, check out one of my new favorites. It reminds me a little bit of Facebook’s Mafia Wars but more advances. Best part? It’s free and you don’t have to clog up your friends’ news feeds on FB with all sorts of requests. Register here: Become a gangster. Join one of the five families and play the GodFather today at Kabam!

Who hasn’t heard of Twitter? Unless you’re living in a cave on Mars, you’re likely familiar with what is quickly surpassing both MySpace and Facebook as the most popular social network on the internet. So what makes Twitter so popular? Is it the celebrities that use it to update their fans on every second of their fabulous existences? Why do so many people become wrapped up in Tweets to the point where it’s more important than their real life interactions?

Is Twitter really better than real life? You bet! If you are a Twitter junkie like me, this is something you already know and have come to terms with. If you aren’t that far gone yet, it is only because you haven’t accepted the new “reality”, but you will soon…believe me!

So, here now are the top ten reasons Twitter is better than real life. Read, learn, and understand them – then sign up for an account or dust off the account you barely use and follow me! (@_chenault_).

10. It is impossible to ramble in 140 characters or less.

We all know people that just can’t stop talking. They say the same thing over and over and expect us to listen. I, myself, am guilty of doing it often. Twitter cuts out the blah, blah, blah and forces you to get to the point.

09. TV and movie characters have Twitter accounts!

The best fictional character account I’ve seen on Twitter thus far is without question Doctor Fitch Cooper (@DoctorCoop) from the Showtime series Nurse Jackie. Fans of the show are treated to teasers of plot lines by following Coop’s account with is frequently mentioned on, and has been the subject of an episode of, the actual show.

08. Twitter is simple and there are help guides if you can’t figure something out. Life? Not so much.

The most complicated problem you will run into with Twitter is understanding what everything means. RT means Retweet. That means someone else originally Tweeted the Tweet first. TT means Trending Topic. That means something is being talked about by a whole lot of Twitter users. If someone famous is really old and hasn’t been talked about in ages and they are suddenly a Trending Topic, they are probably dead. FF stands for Follow Friday. Users recommend people that their followers might like to follow. It is a Friday tradition. @ plus your user name means someone has mentioned you or sent you a message. # before a word or phrase means it is tagged. Hmmm, come to think of it, Twitter is a little complicated. It still has nothing on life, though.

07. Breaking news Tweets are better than the actual breaking news agencies.

More than once, a major news event has hit Twitter before it has hit the mainstream media. Twitter is designed for use on mobile phone which means anyone can update their followers from just about anywhere in the world at any time, including from the scene of earthquakes, terrorist attacks, plane crashes and any other number of events. How awesome is that!!

06. On Twitter you may be responded to by someone famous. This is unlikely to happen in real life.

I have been retweeted by John Mayer, Joe Rogan (@joerogan), Demi Moore, Alyssa Milano (@Alyssa_Milano) and Kirstie Alley. It’s fun and exciting to talk to a celebrity even if it’s only one or two words. In real life, my coolness factor is not nearly enough to talk to any of the above so I take my glory in the Twittersphere as a sign that I’m at least cool somewhere.

05. You will never be as cool and popular in real life as you are on Twitter.

The number of followers you have directly relates to how cool you are. Okay, maybe not, but I choose to believe that so every time I see a new follower added to the list, I get a little excited. Sure, many of them are spam bots and are only trying to sell me useless crap, but that’s just fine with me. There are some great people on my followers list! (@ashleypei, @shard_dax, @kimmah003, @deathbox, @jdbeaner to name the top five coolest.)

04. Twitter saves lives – for real!

Recently, Demi Moore (@mrskutcher) and Nia Vardalos (@niavardalos) alerted police when a young man threatened to kill himself via a Tweet to Moore. The police arrived at the home in time and the man got the help he needed.

03. If someone Tweets too much and is generally an annoying pain in the rear, you can just unfollow them.

Yeah, try getting rid of someone who gets under your skin that easily in real life. It can’t be done, folks. It just can’t be done…

02. Following anyone in real life is called being a stalker and is frowned upon, but following someone on Twitter is a compliment and is encouraged.

Stalking is nothing to joke about, but am I the only one who thinks Twitter needs to come up with a less creepy name for ‘following’. ‘Paying attention to’ is too wordy. Being ‘friends with’ would be too encouraging to real creepy stalkers. I don’t have any suggestions. But I’m sure there must be something better than following.

01. Real life has Miley Cyrus. Twitter does not.

After a much talked about public exit, the Twittersphere is now a Miley free zone. Alas, nothing has yet been done about Justin Bieber but be patient. He is a teenager after all. I’m sure we’ll see a tear filled exit before long.

…and those are the Top 10 Reasons Twitter Is Better Than Real Life

Ok, I admit it…I suck at collecting friends on Facebook! I tried. I really did, but there’s only so much poking and invitations to join some group you’ve never heard that a person can take, ya know? It’s overwhelming! Read the full story

I thought about calling this post “social media cartoons part 2″, but then I realized that was lame and stupid, as all I’m posting is a colorful graphic example of an internet social circle. Where do YOU fit in???

Sure, you have your Myspace friends and you’ve joined a few pointless Facebook groups, and now you go on Twitter and tweet about your bowel movements on a daily basis, but where are the lines drawn? Is it narcissism when you feel the need to tell the world about your life? Are people exhibiting stalker-like behavior if they follow your ramblings? Is anyone even READING this???

In the pre-internet days, you had to be WORTHY of other people’s time, or at least have a soapbox to shout from. Now we have virtual shoutboxes where anyone can clog up our minds with their drivel. They don’t even need a cause, or really any point at all. It’s a shame.

There was a time when great authors wrote great books, but now the philosophy and literature section of my local bookstore has been reduced to a few throwaway paperbacks written by self help gurus because, one would suppose, we need help. Is modern psychiatry trying to justify it’s existence by telling us that we are not ok and, therefore, must be helped? Do we really NEED to be normal???

I think I’m heading for a 21st century meltdown…

Ok, boys and girls, it’s time to have some fun! I’ve collected a few social media cartoons just for laughs to lighten up all the doom and gloom we’ve been reading on the news lately.

As with any social commentary, there is a ring of truth in each social media cartoon, especially the pulitzer prize one. I can imagine that one happening some day, don’t you agree? And we already have news soundbites, so why not investigative tweeting??? Seems like a logical next step, right? Oh dear!! You better be prepared!

Here are a few of my favorite…

That’s all folks!!

Ok, I’m going to try this again. I just created a shiny, brand new Twitter account today and it’s so empty I can feel the breeze blowing through it. Help me!

Obviously, I’m appealing here for some followers, so I don’t look like some uber twit just tweeting to myself all day long. I wonder if someday we’ll see late night ads about sad lonely twitterers who need to be saved from their obssession?

Anyway, until such time that I can make my own infomercial, please follow me on twitter. I beg you!!!

 Anyone remember an old Atari game called “Dig Dug”? Anyone??? You had to move the little guy underground and pump creatures full of air until they exploded. Yeah, that was fun times!

But now, in the era of virtual reality, everyone wants to get their digg dug, ‘cuz it’s cool to be popular. I always sucked at the popularity game. My friends only used me because I was the first kid on the block to bring home a Nintendo system. Super Mario became my best friend on those lonely nights staring at the glowing tv screen in the dark.

Nothing much has changed. Social networking sites like Digg are now becoming overrun with people just trying to get their sites seen and pestering everyone to be their friend in hopes that they’ll dig you. I’ll digg you if you digg me, man!

I miss the comfort of Mario, and Luigi with his wobbly legs. At least they never asked for anything in return…

So, I was making my way through the BST section of the DP forums, as I do everyday due to my lack of productivity (see the PS3 post), and I noticed a site for sale featuring celebrity twitterers, twitters, uh…twits. I’ve been seeing more of these celeb twitter behavior patterns lately, what with Ellen gushing on about all her bazillion followers every night, and Ashton letting the world know every second his wife takes a dump or has a lady cramp, but this was on a whole new level of dumb.

The site was organized so you could pick out your fave famous twit and see what they are up to every waking minute. What struck me as ironic was that these celebrities claim to want privacy, and even tweet about the paparazzi harrassing them, yet they become the attention post whores of the modern era from the comfort of their own home.

And it doesn’t matter who it is, but they all seem to be using twitter as just another form of promotion. One celeb only seemed to post about this cause or that one, while another (ok, it was William Shatner!) wants everyone to watch all his latest Star Trek appearances and then visit his daughter’s shopping website.

Now, I’m fairly certain that if I told you to visit someone’s website through a tweet that I would be ignored as a spammer, but if Capt. Kirk tells you to check it out, then hey! Let’s go!! Right?? I can just picture all the big celebrities endorsing products on Twitter already. Oh, the joy to follow!!

This may seem harsh to you, but I found the whole thing quite boring after 10 minutes. Sure, I succumbed to the burning passion of curiousity and looked around for a bit, just because I NEEDED to know what these famous people had going on that was soooo important that we all had to become their unabashed followers, but after a few minutes it was apparent that this was not a place where the intellect flourished.

All the celebrity twits were either plugging something, like one big spamfest of the rich and famous, or else they were engaging in what looked just like the fast and furious text messaging world of teenagers which, in the case of Miley Cyrus, actually makes sense. Either way, it became all rather ho-hum once I realized that none of these people had anything interesting to say.

It’s too bad. I was kinda hoping Britney Spears would chirp to us about the meaning of life. Now THAT I would tweet, er…twat…uh, whatever!

In the third post in my series celebrating the season of love I’ll address the fear that some people face that there may not be someone out there who is compatible with you. That is simply not true at all! No matter how awkward you may feel, there will always be someone else who feels the same way you do.

Using a free online dating site is NOT a scary thing! They have members from all walks of life, from different religious backgrounds and even mature daters who are just entering the singles scene for the first time after being in a long term relationship for years. 

Being single again after many years with one person can be a horrifying thought to some people, but finding compatible dating partners is not as difficult as you may assume it is. All you have to do is use the great matchmaking tools available to you on the site and you are well on your way to finding love again. Don’t be afraid any longer! Take charge of your lovelife!

Ok, let’s face it. You know how hard it is to find that special someone these days. You’re either too busy to search yourself or you’re stuck with Mom trying to play cupid by hooking you up with that nice person from the grocery store.

Well, it doesn’t have to be that way. There is a free UK dating site that caters to the love life of those living in England, Scotland, Ireland and Wales. It doesn’t cost anything to register and the website is packed with features like advance search filter, online chat function, winks and the ability see who’s checking you out.

There’s even a cupid matchmaker service (way better than good ol’ Ma!) that will match you based on your own criteria! Let them do the work for you! There is also a resourceful dating site blog that can be very helpful when learning about what to look for within the online dating scene. No lounge lizards, please!

So, check out the I’m Yours dating site service to find singles in England or anywhere else in the UK that you reside, and stop being alone! Remember to always make time for love in your life!