Is Twitter really better than real life? You bet! If you are a Twitter junkie like me, this is something you already know and have come to terms with. If you aren’t that far gone yet, it is only because you haven’t accepted the new “reality”, but you will soon…believe me!

So, here now are the top ten reasons Twitter is better than real life. Read, learn, and understand them – then sign up for an account or dust off the account you barely use and follow me! (@_chenault_).

10. It is impossible to ramble in 140 characters or less.

We all know people that just can’t stop talking. They say the same thing over and over and expect us to listen. I, myself, am guilty of doing it often. Twitter cuts out the blah, blah, blah and forces you to get to the point.

09. TV and movie characters have Twitter accounts!

The best fictional character account I’ve seen on Twitter thus far is without question Doctor Fitch Cooper (@DoctorCoop) from the Showtime series Nurse Jackie. Fans of the show are treated to teasers of plot lines by following Coop’s account with is frequently mentioned on, and has been the subject of an episode of, the actual show.

08. Twitter is simple and there are help guides if you can’t figure something out. Life? Not so much.

The most complicated problem you will run into with Twitter is understanding what everything means. RT means Retweet. That means someone else originally Tweeted the Tweet first. TT means Trending Topic. That means something is being talked about by a whole lot of Twitter users. If someone famous is really old and hasn’t been talked about in ages and they are suddenly a Trending Topic, they are probably dead. FF stands for Follow Friday. Users recommend people that their followers might like to follow. It is a Friday tradition. @ plus your user name means someone has mentioned you or sent you a message. # before a word or phrase means it is tagged. Hmmm, come to think of it, Twitter is a little complicated. It still has nothing on life, though.

07. Breaking news Tweets are better than the actual breaking news agencies.

More than once, a major news event has hit Twitter before it has hit the mainstream media. Twitter is designed for use on mobile phone which means anyone can update their followers from just about anywhere in the world at any time, including from the scene of earthquakes, terrorist attacks, plane crashes and any other number of events. How awesome is that!!

06. On Twitter you may be responded to by someone famous. This is unlikely to happen in real life.

I have been retweeted by John Mayer, Joe Rogan (@joerogan), Demi Moore, Alyssa Milano (@Alyssa_Milano) and Kirstie Alley. It’s fun and exciting to talk to a celebrity even if it’s only one or two words. In real life, my coolness factor is not nearly enough to talk to any of the above so I take my glory in the Twittersphere as a sign that I’m at least cool somewhere.

05. You will never be as cool and popular in real life as you are on Twitter.

The number of followers you have directly relates to how cool you are. Okay, maybe not, but I choose to believe that so every time I see a new follower added to the list, I get a little excited. Sure, many of them are spam bots and are only trying to sell me useless crap, but that’s just fine with me. There are some great people on my followers list! (@ashleypei, @shard_dax, @kimmah003, @deathbox, @jdbeaner to name the top five coolest.)

04. Twitter saves lives – for real!

Recently, Demi Moore (@mrskutcher) and Nia Vardalos (@niavardalos) alerted police when a young man threatened to kill himself via a Tweet to Moore. The police arrived at the home in time and the man got the help he needed.

03. If someone Tweets too much and is generally an annoying pain in the rear, you can just unfollow them.

Yeah, try getting rid of someone who gets under your skin that easily in real life. It can’t be done, folks. It just can’t be done…

02. Following anyone in real life is called being a stalker and is frowned upon, but following someone on Twitter is a compliment and is encouraged.

Stalking is nothing to joke about, but am I the only one who thinks Twitter needs to come up with a less creepy name for ‘following’. ‘Paying attention to’ is too wordy. Being ‘friends with’ would be too encouraging to real creepy stalkers. I don’t have any suggestions. But I’m sure there must be something better than following.

01. Real life has Miley Cyrus. Twitter does not.

After a much talked about public exit, the Twittersphere is now a Miley free zone. Alas, nothing has yet been done about Justin Bieber but be patient. He is a teenager after all. I’m sure we’ll see a tear filled exit before long.

…and those are the Top 10 Reasons Twitter Is Better Than Real Life

Ok, I admit it…I suck at collecting friends on Facebook! I tried. I really did, but there’s only so much poking and invitations to join some group you’ve never heard that a person can take, ya know? It’s overwhelming!

I started by adding people I actually knew in the real world, but then the virtual friends started sending invites…and then THEIR friends, and so on, until it became quite unmanageable. I’m amazed at Facebook users that have massive lists of like 100,000 people when I can barely keep track of the 20 something friends I DO have.

I mean, I hardly even know what DAY it is half the time…that’s how disorganized I am, yet there are savvy internet users who play “friend hockey” on FB to see who can collect the most members to their groups, fan pages and profiles. Last week I noticed a group with over a MILLION members…whoa!!!

Anyway, I think that some grey bloke summed up perfectly the whole Facebook social networking game, so I’ll let him explain it to you in his Youtube video.

Feel free to comment about your own FB friendship experiences…

I thought about calling this post “social media cartoons part 2″, but then I realized that was lame and stupid, as all I’m posting is a colorful graphic example of an internet social circle. Where do YOU fit in???

Sure, you have your Myspace friends and you’ve joined a few pointless Facebook groups, and now you go on Twitter and tweet about your bowel movements on a daily basis, but where are the lines drawn? Is it narcissism when you feel the need to tell the world about your life? Are people exhibiting stalker-like behavior if they follow your ramblings? Is anyone even READING this???

In the pre-internet days, you had to be WORTHY of other people’s time, or at least have a soapbox to shout from. Now we have virtual shoutboxes where anyone can clog up our minds with their drivel. They don’t even need a cause, or really any point at all. It’s a shame.

There was a time when great authors wrote great books, but now the philosophy and literature section of my local bookstore has been reduced to a few throwaway paperbacks written by self help gurus because, one would suppose, we need help. Is modern psychiatry trying to justify it’s existence by telling us that we are not ok and, therefore, must be helped? Do we really NEED to be normal???

I think I’m heading for a 21st century meltdown…

As with any social commentary, there is a ring of truth in each social media cartoon, especially the pulitzer prize one. I can imagine that one happening some day, don’t you agree? And we already have news soundbites, so why not investigative tweeting??? Seems like a logical next step, right? Oh dear!! You better be prepared!

Here are a few of my favorite…

That’s all folks!!

Obviously, I’m appealing here for some followers, so I don’t look like some uber twit just tweeting to myself all day long. I wonder if someday we’ll see late night ads about sad lonely twitterers who need to be saved from their obssession?

Anyway, until such time that I can make my own infomercial, please follow me on twitter. I beg you!!!

But now, in the era of virtual reality, everyone wants to get their digg dug, ‘cuz it’s cool to be popular. I always sucked at the popularity game. My friends only used me because I was the first kid on the block to bring home a Nintendo system. Super Mario became my best friend on those lonely nights staring at the glowing tv screen in the dark.

Nothing much has changed. Social networking sites like Digg are now becoming overrun with people just trying to get their sites seen and pestering everyone to be their friend in hopes that they’ll dig you. I’ll digg you if you digg me, man!

I miss the comfort of Mario, and Luigi with his wobbly legs. At least they never asked for anything in return…

The site was organized so you could pick out your fave famous twit and see what they are up to every waking minute. What struck me as ironic was that these celebrities claim to want privacy, and even tweet about the paparazzi harrassing them, yet they become the attention post whores of the modern era from the comfort of their own home.

And it doesn’t matter who it is, but they all seem to be using twitter as just another form of promotion. One celeb only seemed to post about this cause or that one, while another (ok, it was William Shatner!) wants everyone to watch all his latest Star Trek appearances and then visit his daughter’s shopping website.

Now, I’m fairly certain that if I told you to visit someone’s website through a tweet that I would be ignored as a spammer, but if Capt. Kirk tells you to check it out, then hey! Let’s go!! Right?? I can just picture all the big celebrities endorsing products on Twitter already. Oh, the joy to follow!!

This may seem harsh to you, but I found the whole thing quite boring after 10 minutes. Sure, I succumbed to the burning passion of curiousity and looked around for a bit, just because I NEEDED to know what these famous people had going on that was soooo important that we all had to become their unabashed followers, but after a few minutes it was apparent that this was not a place where the intellect flourished.

All the celebrity twits were either plugging something, like one big spamfest of the rich and famous, or else they were engaging in what looked just like the fast and furious text messaging world of teenagers which, in the case of Miley Cyrus, actually makes sense. Either way, it became all rather ho-hum once I realized that none of these people had anything interesting to say.

It’s too bad. I was kinda hoping Britney Spears would chirp to us about the meaning of life. Now THAT I would tweet, er…twat…uh, whatever!

Using a free online dating site is NOT a scary thing! They have members from all walks of life, from different religious backgrounds and even mature daters who are just entering the singles scene for the first time after being in a long term relationship for years. 

Being single again after many years with one person can be a horrifying thought to some people, but finding compatible dating partners is not as difficult as you may assume it is. All you have to do is use the great matchmaking tools available to you on the site and you are well on your way to finding love again. Don’t be afraid any longer! Take charge of your lovelife!

Well, it doesn’t have to be that way. There is a free UK dating site that caters to the love life of those living in England, Scotland, Ireland and Wales. It doesn’t cost anything to register and the website is packed with features like advance search filter, online chat function, winks and the ability see who’s checking you out.

There’s even a cupid matchmaker service (way better than good ol’ Ma!) that will match you based on your own criteria! Let them do the work for you! There is also a resourceful dating site blog that can be very helpful when learning about what to look for within the online dating scene. No lounge lizards, please!

So, check out the I’m Yours dating site service to find singles in England or anywhere else in the UK that you reside, and stop being alone! Remember to always make time for love in your life!

I say this because I have just been subjected to a round of reality shows, due to the fact that I was stuck in bed sick with the flu and this was the only thing on TV. I have some form of mutant cable that only seems to give me the stupid channels and I was happy to numb the pain by giving these shows a chance.

The intro was a typical celeb love-in where the hosts were gushing on about some celebrity something or other. Do we REALLY need celebrities flaunting their riches and affluence at a time when people are stealing groceries to survive????

Then came Paris Hilton in some show with a group of fame whores all vying to be her fake friend. Do these people honestly think they’ll end up on her speed dial after the cameras stop rolling?? Of course, Ms. Hilton is the biggest fame whore of them all, so it came as no surprise when I noticed in the closing credits that she herself created the show.

Next came the Hey Paula show with Ms. Abdul and her wonderfully flaky persona. People seem to think she is a lush or on some sort of drug binge, but it’s clear the woman just needs to SLEEP, dammit! She’s a workaholic insomniac. NOT a good combination of maladies.

I finally ended the night with the girl next door fantasy time with Hugh and his babes. Of course, for him it really IS reality TV, but for every other guy on the planet it’s still just one of those fantasies that will never come true. There’s only so much silly-con and bubbery that I can take, so I shut it off and drifted away to my own la-la land.

If you haven’t seen the movie Idiocracy, then I suggest you watch it soon, because that’s where our future is headed. We are becoming massively dumber and the idiots are taking over. Don’t say I didn’t warn you…